20061120

what you dont have, you don't need it now

I'm begining to think that we might need to live our lives knowing less than we want to know and having less than we're told we need.

I thought it was a phase. I have been learning to move from despairing in my situation, to coping with it. Now I'm moving from coping with it to living it out fully. I always have what I need. And I don't think that is exclusive to me and my situation. I am amazed when I come across people in incredibly difficult situations who are able to rest in God's provision.

These are thoughts.
Here are more.

What about when I don't know what I'm supposed to do, or even what I'm doing. I looked through the entire undergraduate catalog this weekend and could not find a single major that really grabbed me. But I do know that I want an education. So what do I do? I've already quit school... twice. I just want to be done with it.

But maybe I have what I need? Right? I just said that. The next step is actually believing it. Maybe I've been more responsible with the expectations of others than with the dreams God has given me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, this is Will Rucker. I hear ya dude. I think I just failed Math 123 today, for the 2nd time. I don't think I'm supposed to be in school. But is it really irresponsible to even grasp that thought? Well, God will give me and you what we need, when the time comes. Maybe school isn't for me or you right now. But when the time comes, God will give us the desire. When the time comes, God will open up the undergraduate catalog and show you what interests you. Or maybe you aren't even interested in any of it yet, but it will come I'm sure.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if that sounded vague or perhaps something you knew a Christian would tell you, but it is the truth, I am sure of it. Realistically, you have to know - what matters more about you and yourself is growing comfortable with the fact that things may never be alright. Things aren't really supposed to be right, but what counts is when a person lives for something, no matter what it is. You love her, so you move to Oregon. What's wrong with that? Move. Move. Move. Travel after what you love man. Don't conform to what the world tells you to love. Don't conform to what the world tells you to travel after. Don't let the world tell you to be still. Move. Go.